


Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and, apparently, Alchemy

by ZackFairy



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: DGM Secret Santa 2018, Fluff, Humor, It's rated T because Kanda swears a lot, M/M, Mentions of Edward Elric, Mentions of Hogwarts Houses, Modern AU, They fight about a character's hogwart's house, This is the tumblr one, argument, attempted humor, not discord server, ok not that much but just to be safe, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 15:04:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17428223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZackFairy/pseuds/ZackFairy
Summary: What Hogwarts house does Edward Elric belong in? Kanda and Allen argue about it.This is for the tumblr Secret Santa 2018!This fic is for star-favoured-walker. I hope you enjoy it!





	Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and, apparently, Alchemy

**Author's Note:**

> I am extremely sorry for how late I am! I won't bore you with the life reasons I was late. 
> 
> This fic is for star-favoured-walker for the DGM Secret Santa 2018 event. Thank you for your patience and I hope you like it!
> 
> Thank you for the Mods that ran this event!
> 
> Thank you to dailyau.tumblr.com for the inspiration that I always find on their blog. Prompt used in this fic:  
> “we started arguing about which hogwarts house this one character would be in and we completely lost track of time and now you’re demanding i take you out to dinner is this a date” AU  
> (@demineil)
> 
> Once again I'm sorry for the delay!

“Edward Elric is a Ravenclaw, dumbass,” Kanda says and leans back against the couch arm, his long, navy hair spills down his left shoulder in a low ponytail.  
“No, Ed is definitely a Hufflepuff, Jerkanda,” Allen says from his spot on the opposite end of the couch from Kanda. Allen shakes his head, a flurry of neck length, white hair.  
Cobalt blue and silver eyes glare at each other. For a few minutes, the only sound is the murmur of the television.  
“Ed understood chemistry, math, and physics so well that he was a state alchemist when he was fifteen. He’s definitely a Ravenclaw,” Kanda growls and frown deepens.  
“How is he a Ravenclaw when he lets his pettiness and vindictiveness get the better of him? Kind of like someone I know,” Allen smirks and raises his eyebrow.  
“Just because he’s petty and has a short temper doesn’t mean he isn’t smart or clever. Edward's skill with alchemy is so great that he was able to turn himself into a humanoid Philosopher's Stone to force his way into Pride, and then revert himself back to normal immediately afterwards.” Kanda leans forward and stabs his index finger into Allen’s chest.  
“Ed shows his selflessness, loyalty, and compassion to those that earn his trust. He always sticks to his ideals and values no matter what. Like that time in Rush Valley; the thing with Paninya,” Allen counters with a huff, swatting Kanda’s finger away.  
Allen and Kanda’s argument turns into a shouting match before long. The TV is forgotten as they argue their points for the sake of arguing than actually proving a point. Insults fly and they’re about to brawl when Allen’s phone rings.  
“Hello? Lena? Oh, sorry I lost track of time proving to Jerkanda that Edward Elric is a Hufflepuff. No, he is not a Gryffindor- wait did you just say it’s 8 pm?”  
Kanda reaches for his own phone to find that it is indeed dinner time.  
“Yes, sorry about forgetting to meet up with you… I promise I’ll tell you all about how stupid Kanda is later, bye,” Allen sticks his tongue out at Kanda and grins cheekily and Kanda rolls his eyes at him.  
“I can’t believe you wasted my day with your stupidity, Beansprout,” Kanda says and clicks his tongue and faces away from Allen.  
“ _I_ wasted _your_ day? More like you wasted _mine_. I even missed my after lunch and pre-dinner snacks!” Allen shoots back, “And the name’s Allen, Jerkanda!”  
“You’re taking me out to dinner and paying for me since it’s your fault for being stubborn.”  
Kanda stands from the couch and stretches his arms up. He releases the tense posture when he hears a series of small _crack_ s.  
“Come on, Beansprout, or are you so stupid you can’t even keep up?” Kanda smirks and saunters to the house door.  
“Wha- wait, who said I’d take you?” Allen shouts after Kanda as he grabs his car keys and wallet.  
“I just did.”  
“But, since when do you take me out for dinner _willingly_?” Allen shoves his feet into his sneakers and grabs a windbreaker from the hanger.  
“Che, you ask too many questions Bean. I told you it’s your fault that I stayed this late and I’m too hungry to cook.”  
Allen locks the door and unlocks his car and gets into the driver seat and Kanda climbs into the seat next to him. Allen revs the engine and backs out of his driveway.  
“Wait a minute—” Allen starts as he merges into traffic.  
“Fucking hell ‘Sprout, what now,” Kanda growls.  
Allen steals a glance at Kanda to see a murderous glare focused on him.  
“Is this a date?”  
For a moment, the only sound in the car is the _tick tick_ of the turning signal.  
“Uh, Kanda?”  
No response.  
“Jerkandaaaaa.”  
Still nothing. Allen steals another glance to find Kanda facing his window.  
_Fine then, drastic measures it is,_ Allen thinks.  
“Yuu, is this a date?”  
“Don’t fucking call me that, _Beansprout_ ,” Kanda barks.  
“Then answer my question.”  
“Che.”  
“So it is.”  
“Che”  
“You could have just asked me out like a normal person you know.”  
Kanda narrows his eyes at Allen and his face flushes lightly as Allen grins.  
“Fuck you, ‘Sprout.”  
“Don’t you think it’s still too early in our relationship for that?” Allen snickers.  
Kanda punches Allen’s arm and the car swerves in its lane.  
“Kanda! That’s dangerous! Wait ‘til we get to the restaurant!” Allen shrieks.  
Kanda crosses his arms and turns away. Allen snickers at the sight of red ears when he glances Kanda’s way again.  
They finally arrive at a Japanese style restaurant and Kanda halts as soon as he sees the place.  
“Why are we here?” Kanda asks with a raised eyebrow.  
“It’s your favourite, right? I thought this would be a good place for a first date,” Allen smiles.  
“Che, I’m not holding back,” Kanda says and spins on his heal and marches off to the entrance of the restaurant.  
Allen smiles.  
“Wait up Kanda! Don’t you know it’s bad manners to leave your date behind!” Allen shouts as he sprints after Kanda.  
“You want a beating don’t you,” Kanda growls, face red and fists trembling.  
“As if you could beat me, Pretty Boy,” Allen twists a strand of Kanda’s hair on his finger and twirls into the restaurant and to the front desk.  
Kanda freezes for a moment before stomping after Allen.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys I'm part of a Yullen/AreKan/Kallenda Discord Server! Here's the link if you want to join us!
> 
> https://discord.gg/skjEYcW


End file.
